EXAMPLE

A father and son, living on the West coast of Canada ( in the Vancouver area ), loved to go sailing between the mainland and Vancouver Island. The father, over the years, had
upgraded from a small boat to a larger sail boat and the son was intending to follow his example, but, at the time of this example the son only had a small boat.

One day the son want for a sail in his boat and a major storm came up which caused his boat to capsize. The son drowned on that day and his body was never recovered.

As result, the father kept having a reoccurring dream regarding the loss of his son and the lack of closure. ( no funeral for closure because the son’s body was never recovered )

In the dream the father would go out in his sail boat to where his son had drowned and he would dive over the side and swim down to the bottom. When he would get to the bottom he would find a treasure chest and when he opened it up it would, always, be empty.
( it can be said that the father treasured his son )

At that time, I was a co-facilitator of a therapeutic group in which the father ( as a participant ) told the story of his reoccurring dream and to address the problem the following potential solution was proposed to him.

Write up his story including his emotions, feelings, appreciations, anger, resentments, positives and negatives of the relationship with his son and with his death, etc.
Buy a small tree ( hopefully his son’s favourite kind of tree).
Take the write up, the tree and some pictures of his son ( + small personal objects / reminders of his son ) and take them to his son’s favourite place.

NOTE: His son’s favourite place was up on a forested knoll over looking Horse Shoe Bay on the North Shore of Vancouver where he could see the marina that he and his father used to dock their sail boats.

The father was to take the write up, the tree, the pictures and the personal
objects to the knoll.
Dig a hole for the tree / then read the write up ALOUD..
Set fire to the papers ( write up ) pictures and personal items.
Let the smoke go up into the air, the ashes and personal items fall into the hole.
Plant the tree over them. ( burying them and the problem in order to gain closure )

The father never had the reoccurring dream again…

NOTE: People and their family members can, by using these principles and practices, gain closure in relation to various kinds of personal and family issues = re: the loss of a loved one, abuse, addiction, PTSD = reoccurring dreams / flashbacks, suicide prevention, anger management, beginnings and endings, unfinished business, closure, etc.

Some guidelines:

Use your own imagination and creativity when you apply
these principles and practices to your own personal and family issues.
This can be done alone and/or with others who can appreciate their attendance
and find value in the process.

NOTE: This therapeutic process can stand alone and/or be an addition to
existing individual or group therapy programs.

Helpful hints:

1. You can bury and get over your own personal / family issues and start an anger free life.
2. Planting ( a living memorial, a bush, shrub or a crop ) represents hope for the future.
3. “The obstacles in life, often, become precisely what is required”…

Warm Regards: to the family members of those who are lost at sea
( past, present and future ).

Author James L. Halstrum ( The Stone Shadow )
P.O.Box1326 Montague, PEI C0A-1R0
http://www.facebook.com/james.halstrum1
Note: If this helps or saves the life of one person, I’ll be pleased.