From the desk of a psychologist!

Feel the Pain

Let me introduce you to Tina. She is a perfectly healthy person, lively & someone whom we can easily relate to.

Now, the one thing which Tina has done to herself, over the years is distance herself from the mental state called “emotional pain” .Your question is going to be how? What Tina did, was from her childhood, she understood one thing that pain is a negative emotion. It leaves a lot of discomfort and uneasiness. So, when there used to be a situation in which she had to feel pain, she used to disconnect herself from it. Gradually, she reached a point where even if she wants to go through the pain she can’t because she has forgotten this whole emotion. She has started living in a fantasy world with no pain.

Obviously, your next thought is going to be : What’s wrong with it? She is living in a happy world.

Actually it is good to be happy but only if you’ve processed your feelings. If you have problems and you ignore them, as if they never existed, that is not going to make them disappear. It is only going to make you start living in a delusional world. The same happens when you run away from pain. We, humans are always looking for happiness and never ever take a back step to feel it, then why this fear of feeling pain?

Switching off your emotional pain receptors are not going to solve your problems. It will make the situation worse because there will be no insight of your real emotions. You’ll lose track with the real world. If there will be no acceptance of pain, there will not be any steps also taken towards mending it. Your emotional equilibrium will go out of your hands and then the appropriate reactions to situations will also be hampered.

We talk about being a caring and empathetic person but if you can’t feel a certain emotion, how could you help a loved one deal with the same. Tina really can’t help her friend, who is going through the pain of breakup, though she wants to. She herself doesn’t know how to deal with it, let alone help her friend. She is in a fix.

What I am trying to say here is whenever you go through the downs of life, let it be, feel the pain. It will make you stronger and emotionally healthier. A good way to express your pain could be:

In the end I want to say that we need to remember that our life is in phases. No emotion is going to stay with you forever. If you are going through pain right now, it is fine. Feel it and let you grow…This too shall pass!

Next Step: Live the Pain!


Comments on: "Feel the Pain" (14)

  1. interesting and true

  2. Malini Ghosh said:

    So very true …. extreme emotional pain at times causes you to shut yopur mind off from it and lead u to a state when u start living in that world of ‘ no pain’

  3. Shirin Hasrat said:

    Pain like any other emotion needs to be felt and lived through, for it to heal. Not facing it is equivalent to sweeping the dirt under the carpet…it may be hidden for a while, but under the layers it festers and the psychosomatic symptoms reveal themselves as mood swings, depression or even cancer at the physical level. Every emotion needs to be dealt with not pushed aside.

  4. Asha guru said:

    it is really a piece of knoweldge on pain and to some extent i agree with you that pain is an essential aspect of human personality.

  5. Pramila said:

    Depends on the intensity. One can sometimes go over the edge unknowingly and that’s when it can get dangerous . I agree that one learns to be more emotionally stable by allowing oneself to go through all emotions – good or bad, but I also feel developing a thick skin can help to keep one from drowning in the depths of despair.

  6. […] reading about emotional pain Tina realized the importance of feeling it but now the question was how actually is […]

  7. […] to start with a belief that we did come to a conclusion from the previous post which talked about feeling the pain. We need to feel the emotional pain, in order to heal, to lead a healthy, balanced […]

  8. Avin kumar said:

    But if a person goes through same emotional pain again and again slowly he starts to feel nothing about it.But its true that without emotions a person is fully mechanical and not human.

  9. […] final step, in the series of pain, after Feel the Pain & Live the […]

  10. […] Feel the Pain – Share this:EmailPrintFacebookTwitterLike this:Like14 bloggers like this post. […]

  11. […] Feel the Pain – Share this:EmailPrintFacebookTwitterLike this:Like14 bloggers like this post. […]

  12. […] is way for short lived relief. You need to live your feeling. There is a whole series on pain: Feel the pain, live the pain and relieve the pain which could help you with this […]

  13. Mark Carney said:

    I agree with your closing statement and I think it speaks to the heart of the issue. People tend to misinterpret what is temporary from what is permanent. Seems silly but it is a common misinterpretation. It is often seen on people addicted to drugs or alcohol. Pyshoeducation seems to help as does exposure to the Buddist concept of suffering.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: