From the desk of a psychologist!

If you are a parent or a caretaker of a child, You should stop and certainly read this!

Being a parent, I know we just wish that there is no word as danger in their world but we know it is not possible. So, we should do the next best thing of either keeping away our kid from danger or make them ready to face it. Again the latter is only possible if we restrict our child at home, which consequently would stop their growth.  

If you think or even want yourself to be a good parent, you make your child prepare for this world in each possible way.

Now the question, I want to ask you today is, have you thought about making them strong enough to deal with a sexual predator?

I always say shutting our eyes doesn’t infer that the problem is not there. It just means that we refuse to deal with it. If you are one of those who believe that it can never happen to my child as we live in a protected world, I am sorry to break it to you but you are living in a delusional world.

I am not only talking about the evil-looking ‘wanted’ individual, whose very look starts ringing alarms but I am trying to bring your attention to the friendly, safe and nice looking individuals. Those uncles with whom we know everything will go just fine or that neighbor who takes care of our child, when we have to run for an errand.

How are we so sure that nothing bad is going to happen?

Do you know that statistics prove that more than 70% of the times, assaulter is a well-known person of the child.

Are you comfortable that you have a son and they are not the potential targets. You need to wake up, as the boys are as vulnerable as girls in getting harassed.

God forbid if it happens, our child will be able to handle it and also let us know about it? Are you sure that you have imparted sufficient knowledge for your kid to actually not feel guilty about it and have the confidence to share it with the right person?

The world is a beautiful place but we all know that bad exists with good. There are people who are mentally sick . The problem here is no one can look at a person and say that there is something wrong with him and my child is not safe with this person. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

If you haven’t yet started, begin it today. Talk about the real evil of this world and talk in their language. Some tips to get you started:

  • Introduce them to the dangers of this world and then move to this particular area.
  • Tell them the ‘ Must say NO areas’, which are a strict NO. No one could or should touch you there. These areas are the chest, the area between your legs and your bottom ( bums). If you have are difficulty in explaining it to your kid, show them this picture and tell them to make sure no one touches them in the areas covered:

Please make sure that the kids understand that any touch which feels uncomfortable or leaves them confused need to be discussed with you. Make them comfortable with it. Tell them, it is not and never going to be their fault if a person touches them in the inappropriate places or ways.

  • Teach them how to shout NO. If a bad touch happens they should repeat No and run away from the place as fast as possible.

From childhood, somehow we have conveyed this message to our kids, that saying ‘No’ is not a good thing. You should listen to adults and do what they ask you to. We need to make them understand that sometimes you need to say ‘No’ and stick to it. Mom is not going to be upset if she finds out about your ‘No’, in fact she is going to be proud of you.

  • They should identify a ‘Safe Adult’. Someone with whom they are able to communicate and feel safe. If they face any such circumstance, they should find their safe adult and share the experience with them.

Children take secrets too seriously. They seldom break them. Make them understand the difference between a good secret and bad. Any secret, which makes you uncomfortable or sad need to be only shared with your safe adult.

If you are a parent, see the signs. Children are like flowers, you can see them withering if tampered!

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Comments on: "Good touch, Bad touch!" (8)

  1. Saurabh Upadhyay said:

    It’s indeed a valuable information and one has to be very careful in grooming his/her child/children. The problem actually hang around when we are not able to communicate with our child/children about making a difference between right and wrong. Hope this article would give all of us an insight towards the subject and we will be able to make our child/children ready for hidden dangers around them…….

  2. Dr.vk sharma said:

    Well
    Naghma
    Appreciable and nice article with comprehended interpretation of good and bad touch.
    Regards.

  3. I am so happy that your posting this, we as parent’s need to warn our children today & everyday. Not wait until this happens & leave them to their own devices to try & make a decision that they could never be prepared to make on their own? They trust adults & family & friends & when something like sexual abuse happens it hurts all people. But, give them tools to deal with this situation before it happens & pray that it never does? But we would be fooling ourselves in thinking that this would never come about in their lifetime. NOW more than ever do we need to protect our children from all the dangers no matter who it comes from. TRUST is not the only way that we need to teach them!

  4. good article and very informative.thanx and keep it up.

  5. gurneet said:

    great work nagma .Here I want to share a link which is really good and gonna help many parents out there http://youtu.be/6aH8Rwax09A

  6. Jayagopan Menon said:

    Many thanks Naghma for this well written piece! Keep them coming…

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