From the desk of a psychologist!

What if…If only?

What is the main thing which comes between us and our happiness? What is it, which stops us from living our life to its fullest?

A simple imaginative ever going comparison of  What if…If only?

Human Beings have this imaginative perfect world in which everything is great ( that is why it is perfect…Duh!). Now, in the real world, they tend to compare everything & everybody with their imaginative perfect world. Nothing real, obviously, couldn’t reach anywhere close to their perfect world counterpart and even if it does, the rating scale again goes higher.

This is true for all of us. How many of us can deny that they don’t have their perfect world in which everything is according to them, no one is there to stop them. We could have a villa full of servants, a beautiful partner without any conditions or could be the ruler of this whole world.  We also have perfect situations in which we win all the arguments and every time we open our mouth something witty or sharp comes out of it. No one can make a fool of us or disrespect us.         

Even though we very well know that its a fake world but in our real world, there is always an unconscious comparison going on. For everything, our mind whispers, what if….if only? This stops us from accepting the reality or being grateful for what we have but actually makes us unhappy, complaining and a cribber.

There is a very thin line between, when we dream of something and it is achievable and we aim for it and those situations which are beyond us. In these situations if we bring out what if…if only, it is only going to flood our lives with regret.  A very good way of judging whether you are crossing the boundary is checking with The Serenity Prayer. It’s the best tool to be as worldly spiritual as possible.

It’s simple, if you want to be happy and contented, stop looking for it. When you look for something, you always have set parameters, let go of your criteria.

You’ll find that happiness is right there, where you are!

“Happiness is making a bouquet of those flowers within reach.” – Unknown

Comments on: "What if…If only?" (8)

  1. smilescavenger said:

    “[…]if you want to be happy and contented, stop looking for it.”

    We have opposite mindsets about happiness, but I liked your post very much! I’ve just started on a “hunt for happiness” (dream-chase) because I believe that people do have to look/work for it.

    But I agree that in the meantime, we should all be happy as we can be with what we have! 🙂

    • unwrappingminds said:

      Thank you for the kind words and always remember the serenity prayer when you look out for happiness 🙂
      All the Best!

  2. Saurabh Upadhyay said:


    Naturally we all are born with a tendency to resist change and accept it. Happiness is something which could be termed as state of mind where we assimilate what is happening and always try to react positively to any given situation and look it as an opportunity.

    Most of the time we waste our vital energy (I would term it as Emotional Energy) in changing the things which are not in our control however if we start focusing on what we can control and act accordingly, most of our worries may be tamed.We need to have faith in destiny and understand the importance of KARMA only.

    “We all are provide with two hands and this world is a basket full of lots of fruits. It is us who have to decide which two fruits we have to choose”

    Good one Naghma!!!!!!

  3. unwrappingminds said:

    Thank you Saurabh!

  4. What a lovely and thoughtful post. You are right on track to your dreams.

    Sue Bock

  5. […] What if…If only? ( […]

  6. […] in one of my posts, what if…if only? I talked about having an imaginary perfect world. We keep on comparing our present  life with this […]

  7. […] “What if…” becomes the starting point of every thought which emerges within us. We create our own stories with the results already decided. This makes our actions and reactions towards people and situations more negative. We dread being in positive environment because doubt has conveniently put blinders on us. […]

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