From the desk of a psychologist!

Posts tagged ‘Dharun Ravi’

Are we raising Homophobics?

India, A country where we are  not only uncomfortable but actually dead scared to even say the word SEX. Talking about it to our kids is still a big TABOO for most of us. As a result, it has become a dirty word here. Everything and anything to do with sex must be a really bad thing.

Conclusively, the views about homosexuals are not only of unnatural but actually some phenomenon to be hated. I think we could tolerate a rapist for once, but not a homosexual. We have extreme thoughts about the homosexuals.

Today, I am not here to judge or decide between the wrong and right. My question is if there is someone we know, who is a homosexual, how are we getting hurt by it? What makes us work overtime and fill our children’s minds with hatred against them? You see a homosexual, then not only run but HURT them…You’ll be an Indian Hero!

Last year one of ours took the lesson from his parents very well ; went ahead and made a mark. He actually went for a home run. I am talking about Mr. Dharun Ravi. An Indian student sadly ended up with a homosexual roommate. He was quoted as saying, ” I still don’t really care, except what my parents are going to say. My dad is going to throw him out the window.” As learnt, he punished the wrong doers with the extreme behavior leading  the roommate to end his life. Now, this ex Rutgers student is facing a verdict of being guilty to 15 different charges.

Sonia Katyal, a law professor at Fordham University, said “for those who grow up in a world where no one talks about gay issues … it helps you to understand why someone might make the choice to engage in some sort of bullying or some sort of intimidation.”

Amit Bagga, a gay Indian-American former Congressional aide who has been active in the LGBT community, said his reading of the case suggested that Ravi was “generally homophobic,” consistent with the South Asian cultural environment in which Bagga said he grew up. Bagga explained the perspective as a form of collective denial: “It’s ‘Why would we even think to talk about this? Because this is something that is so alien to us and our worldview and our understanding of the world.'”

Let’s be honest and ask ourselves, why are we so negative and reactive to the very mention of the word homosexual in any form? The reason for any phobia is FEAR. Are we scared and if we are of what and why? Is it the fear of what we thought to be the right way all along is not the ONLY WAY? Is it our religious & cultural beliefs?  Is it an envy to a point of hatred?

I could be asked this question that how come this sudden emergence of homosexuality? Let me tell you something ( which I am positive a lot of you already know), homosexuality in India is prevalent  from the time of the Vedas. There is enough literature of it in them. Even in the last century, our country had its share of homosexuals, which were generally referred as mad, weird and evil people. It is just that now we have started to murmur about it and my apologies for bringing it here also.

Please introspect : Do they need to charge Dharun for the crimes or our society as a whole? Do we need to now at least try to become comfortable with the sexuality of a person and let them be whoever they are?

When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.  ~Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988 (Thanks, Marlene)

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