From the desk of a psychologist!

Posts tagged ‘Trait theory’

Effective Parenting- Introduction

I just told a friend that I am thinking of writing about parenting & her concern of ” Is it going to be something new or research from the internet?”, made me realize that if I want my blog to be alive I need to write my experience and hands on solutions. So, here am I with my take on what an effective parenting needs to be like!

Parenting is a very heavy word which is becoming heavier with each passing day. If you’re a parent, I am sure you must have had your share of concerns, anxiety & stress. I personally believe that God has given most of us the ability to bring life to this earth but a few of us work on being a good parent. It is actually quite simple, as an individual we all go through different experiences and develop a personality, we carry this to our various roles of life. These traits helps us in being successful in some roles of life and in some they come as a hindrance.

Now, when we become a parent, these traits stay with us. Sometimes our role as a parent and our personality traits go in conflict. Here our flexibility as an individual plays a vital role. We need to mold ourselves according to the demand of the situation, time and need of the issue. Often being a success in one role makes it difficult for us to accept that there could be a problem in our role as a parent. I remember Mr. R telling me, ” How could I have a problem in dealing with my daughter, when my whole staff swears by my way of working?” . We need to accept that all of us have our days, some days we ace the art of parenting and in few cases it is fine to understand that we could have done better.

In our culture, there is a major shift happening. Women are coming out of the closet and rapidly proving themselves in the professional world. It is a great achievement but at the same time they are carrying a lot of ” Working Mothers Guilt“. Because they are not being physically available to their kids, they start fulfilling even the unfair demands of the kids.  Then we also have the opposite  where to make role model , they overdo the strictness. If we look into it where is all this behavior coming from? I think the major reason for most of our behavior is ” SOCIETAL PRESSURE“.

One of my friend shared with me that, ” My daughter is sharp but is too shy to prove herself.” I also know this girl and believe me, she is an intelligent one with a lot of talents but an INTROVERT. My question is who has decided that being  an introvert is not the right thing? I have seen the constant comparison of this girl with other kids and the pressure she has to go through to come out of her shell. My point it ” LEAVE HER ALONE,  SHE”LL BE FINE.”

As parents we need to keep on reminding ourselves that ” ALL CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT”.

This topic is vast,  today we have started it and would continue with frequent posts on it. I would request you all to send me your feedback and questions so that it can be given a proper direction and be helpful.

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