“We apathise they abuse”
I read a book today. It is called “The Kid Trapper” by Julia Cook. I need to share the jist of it and the situation of this boy ( being a counselor even I know someone like him).
This boy who was trapped in a sexually abusive situation.
How did he get into it?
Simple easy steps which works every time
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A friendly stranger makes you feel special
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Invite you for a fun time in his place ( or a secluded one)
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Let you do something, you always wanted to, but your parents never allowed you to do so
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And once you are done, his game begins
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Because you did something, you don’t want your parents to know you have to fulfill his wish
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The wishes will grow & grow
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This is the moment you know, you are TRAPPED
He will make sure you never talk to anyone about it and feel dirty and responsible for the situation. Trust me, that is his power and his biggest weapon. Your fear and shame.
You feel your parents/loved ones will hate you if they would come to even know about it but that is your biggest mistake. They love you and they would never be able to forgive themselves if you won’t reach out to them. The moment you’ll talk, the web will disappear.
Parents/ Adults/loved ones:
Do you know?
There is no specific description of an abuser. He could be anyone and anywhere and most of the time he is a very close one.
Be there for your child. Give him the strength to reach you. Be a friend, who doesn’t even need words to feel the pain of his loved one.
Sometimes, because of our own fears, we convey this message to our children that talking about sex ( or sexual abuse) is unacceptable. We believe in the ostrich syndrome…lets dig our heads in the sand rather than looking at the problem.
Though it sounds rare but this is the most common type of abuse which exists anywhere & everywhere!
Please, lets accept this as a fact that sexual predators do exist among us, rather than feeling ashamed and going in a cocoon about it because without this acceptance we will never be able to feel comfortable in talking to them about it and consequently will not be able to equip our kids with the necessary skills to identify and deal with them.
Related articles
- The Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse (everydayhealth.com)
- Talking to Your Kids About Abuse (drlauraberman.com)